I found this rant on my computer, I think it was written some time this past summer…

One of the fundamental sources of conflict is incompatible goals, that is, wanting different things. But, what do we want? Why do we want it? Is the problem wanting? The solution can hardly be simplified to say that we should stop wanting. Granted, this would spare us most conflict, but few are willing, as is apparently manifested in society’s lack of will to change. I mean, look at us, we’re boxed in, what are we striving for but what is immediately placed in front of us? Are we not, then, just animals feeding at the trough of capitalism? Isn’t the point to be a consumer… what is capitalism but the ism – that is, the means by which something is done– of capital accumulation. So, we have become the functional particulate elements of a grand machine designed to build wealth, somehow attracting the masses with it’s glitter and sparkle. We chase at some remote dream, dangled literally in front of us in fasion and celebrity, spinning below us the treadmill of a thousand golden temples built for those who can pull the strings. Are we, the masses, to accept a lowly pittance and humiliation at the merest assertion of a meritocratic hierarchy… do we not see that this is a false dream, a mirage of what has descended upon us? So convinced of the necessity of our slavery we accept the prescribed design of life for fear of a well designed hell where the careful controls of the wealth generating machine can no longer save us from That Which We Do Not Know.
Yet no one blows on the house of cards, because no one thinks it will do anything.

-joel

Wow, so many interesting things happening…
Okay, first thing first:
“Hand in Hand for Peace in the Congo”
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Duckworth Centre (400 Spence st.)
University of Winnipeg
5:00-10:00pm
Photo Exibition
Guest Speakers
Traditional Food ($5)
Live Music* and Dance
Donations welcome

Joel Going Back to Thailand…
Yes, that’s right folks, I think it might actually happen real soon. I just spoke to Ruth, the Practicum Coordinator at Menno Simons (the Conflict Res. College part of my Degree), and she gave me the green light to hook up with an organization working in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand! I still need to learn a lot about the group before I can really speak to exactly what it is that they do, and what I might be doing, but it has to do with political dissidents (I think) from Burma/Myanmar… really, just wait a bit, I’ll get some better info for you. The point is, I could be in Thailand by this time next year, eating Kanoms and Sticky Rice, and sweating my balls off in what’s supposed to be winter.
…more news to follow as I get it…
-joel

Wow, totally got slammed by the homework over the last couple of days. It’s amazing what happens when you forget about one of your assignments while studying for a huge exam! Well, my silly little physics assignment is out of the way, now I can get back to studying for International Law. Geeze, so much material, and so little time to absorb, process, analyze, regurgitate.
Work, work, work, work….
-jm

Okay, so I’ll have to update this when I have more info but here’s what I have for now…
What: an expo of the Conflict in the Congo, featuring guest speakers, a photo slide show, FOOD, drumming, singing, and some live music by ME.
When: Sunday October 30, 2005 starting at 5:00pm
Where: University of Winnipeg Duckworth Centre, 2nd floor
Why: to inform people about the conflict in the Congo, encourage engagement, and fundraise for development projects.
… so basically, I met a man who just came here from the Congo in the spring, and he’s put together this event to let people know about the horrible war that’s been going on in his country (that’s killed more people than any other war since WWII). There will be guest speakers talking about the conflict, a photo slide show (warning: graphic content; it will be optional, and in a separate room), food from the Congo, drumming, and singing, and I will also be playing a few songs, including the debut of a new song (lyrics below: These Eyes).
The idea is to let people know more about this war that has destroyed so many lives, and continues to this day. It has often been referred to as “Africa’s Forgotten War” because it hasn’t gotten the attention of more striking, immediate crises such as the Rwandan Genocide (which many say was the start of the Congo war), or the current genocide, and subsequent humanitarian crisis in the Sudan. If you want to read more, start here:

• Human Rights Watch: Essential Backgrounder – Democratic Republic of Congo, http://hrw.org/english/docs/2005/01/13/congo9855.htm


• International Crisis Group: Congo Action Plan, http://www.crisisgroup.org/home/index.cfm?l=1&id=3758


• US Dep’t of State – Backgrounder: Democratic Republic of Congo, http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/2823.htm


• CIA World Factbook – Democratic Republic of Congo, http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/cg.html

-joel

(P.S.: any bloggers out there who can tell me how to get rid of those stupid little flower bullets? I just don't have the time right now to figure it out and they bug me)

Martin right to talk tough on softwood: Clinton
Earthquake death toll could top 54,000
Bird flu found in Greece
World is more peaceful now than at any time in 12 years
* 2005 Human Security Report *
Gomery Report Just a Part of Ongoing Liberal Glut
NYT: Iraq Election Officials Question Unusually High “Yes” Votes
(Same story from AFP)

More than 300,000 Dead in South Asia Quake
CBC Lockout to End as Union Accepts Tentative Deal
Rain, Mudslides Devastate Guatemala
Avian Flu Making its Way to Europe
Sources say Schroeder Likely to Step Aside
US Accountability:
Systematic and Chronic Prisoner Abuse
Also check out this story about an American Muslim Chaplain at Guantanamo Bay who became a prisoner, accused of spying.

Make what you will of it… “Life is what you want it to be.” I always thought that was a bullship cop-out spoken by stupid optimists who never really wanted anything they couldn’t have. Then as time went by, and I started to pay attention to the way the world works, I started to realize that there may be some truth behind that ridiculous statement. As the feeling of sitting in the bottom of the world’s outhouse came and went for the umpteenth time it occurred to me that maybe the world doesn’t really give a shit about me. At first this was disgusting, and sad… kinda depressing. Then after a while I thought about it and realized how liberating it actually is. The world doesn’t care what happens to me. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t good people out there that might help me in a time of need, or that the behemoth structure we still call government hasn’t at least tried to offer me such limping institutions as health care and the rule of law. I mean the world in general. That vast majority of people who couldn’t be bothered to look past their own noses. Those everyday Joes and Janes on the street that would leave me to die in a pool of my own blood for fear of complicating their own lives. The only one you can ever be sure is going to be there to pick you up is yourself. And if you wallow in your own pain and suffering that is YOUR suffering. And if your world goes to shit, that’s YOUR world if shit. And the only way you’re ever going to get out of it is by your own effort. Sure maybe people will be there to help you out, or maybe not, but the point is that you have to reach for it, to strive for it, to work to improve your own life, because no one else is going to do it for you. This is the downside of freedom that no one wants to talk about. It’s called responsibility; that counterpoint to rights that means you can do what you want (within reason and law, and maybe morality), but you have to do it yourself. So all those people out there who never grew up and still want someone to take care of them can sit back and whine, and cry, and bitch about how unfair it is that you actually have to put effort into your own happiness, while others will go about making life mean more than just survival. You have to want it, you have to be willing to learn (that means change). Only you can know what brings you happiness, and only you can seek it out. So stop praying (begging) to idols, stop complaining about the things that prevent you, and seek out the things that will help you. And if you still think mommy and daddy are going to be there to make sure “everything’s gonna be alright” till you die, then you’ve got a lot more painful lessons coming.

Wake up to the sound
of gunfire its all around
between all the screams
oh the begging and crying

All these eyes are crying for lost souls, crying for hope
These eyes are asking me why we don’t stop, we don’t stop,
we don’t stop this from happening

I don’t understand, all of the dying
your purpose lost in war, killing’s not surviving
how can anyone live like this
I don’t know how you live like this

All these eyes are crying for lost souls, crying for hope
These eyes are asking me why we don’t stop, we don’t stop,
we don’t stop this from happening

don’t want to believe
we’re got this capacity
don’t see it happening to me
I’ll know it when I bleed
how can anyone live like this
I don’t know how you live like this
how can anyone live like this
I don’t know how you live like this

All these eyes are crying for lost souls, crying for hope
These eyes are asking me why we don’t stop, we don’t stop,
we don’t stop this from happening

"You do it to yourself, you do, and that’s what really hurts”

A year on, and I’m still torn with questions from “the divorce.” Okay, so we never actually got married… I never even got the chance to ask her. But my mind was made up, I was going to ask her, I was ready to dive in and commit my life to her, and that’s what makes it hurt so much more. What I long for now is no longer the person. That girl, that name, that person who once stole my heart is no longer the same. This new person that she’s become doesn’t interest me, she’s changed in fundamental ways that make me question what I thought I knew about her, about us. But, It’s that connection we used to have, the relationship that used to define us that I miss, and wonder if I’ll ever have it that good again. She was my confidant, my sidekick, my muse, my inspiration. We literally made beautiful music together. People envied us. We could do anything. Will I ever find another girl whose voice made angels dance to the music we played? Will she drive me farther and higher than I ever imagined I could go? Will she know just how to make me smile when it seems like the world’s falling apart? Will she be sweet, compassionate, and strong? Maybe I’m expecting too much… but then again, I’ve had it that good, and I don’t think I could ever be satisfied with less. I miss those good times, but at the same time I know that I can’t go back to them so I keep going in hopes that it might happen again, eventually. And next time I’ll know better than to fuck it up like I did.