Scattered, I’m slowly gathering up all the pieces… my limping health cost me yet again, as the busy christmas season filled with those essential family gatherings, and the requisite shopping, small talk, and overindulgence. Having finished marking exams just before Christmas (posting the grades Christmas morning), I still have a stack of book reports to grade… it seems this “holiday” season won’t be much of a break for me; and just when I could really use it.

This last term was a rough one for me. Coming back from the Congo, I had a lot on my mind – digesting my experience and reporting on it – and foolishly signed up for courses I didn’t really want. Of course, when I got to the research papers I had to admit that I simply was not interested enough to fake my way through their demanding requirements. Still, it took a good three days of deliberation to decide to drop them. Now, fully derailed from the 2007 graduation plan, I’m fighting through an endurance race – and an entirely different set of deliberations.

Having already completed enough university credits to earn my B.A., I’m tempted by the relief of claiming it, and leaving now. At the same time, I feel as though I have only just stepped in to the academic world, and that there is so much more for me to learn. Of course, there is always more to learn, but I feel as though my education is still incomplete. This speaks to the underlying question in all of this: “what are you going to do with your degree”? And what does one do with a double-major in Politics and Conflict Resolution Studies? Everything and nothing, it would seem. With such a broad approach, I simply don’t have the kind of specialization often looked for in professional fields. This speaks to my interest… clearly more academic than functional, at this point… Perhaps the eventual melting of my economic mirage will set me free from this delusion of intellectual freedom…